The life of patners and love relationship

 

Partnership must precede parenthood. A man is a husband first, father second, businessman third. A

woman is a wife first, mother second, career woman third. A strong marriage precedes a strong

family. Marriage is permanent; parenthood is temporary. Marriage is central; parenthood is

secondary. Marriage is the hub; children are the spokes. The child-centered home is poor training for

the child, poor marriage insurance, poor preparation for the empty nest. Your partner is first, before

children, job or career. A man must love his wife as himself, and the wife must honor her husband

(Ephesians 5:33).

-Dr. J. Allan Petersen

little guy was confronted by three bullies, any one of whom could have obliterated him,

and they were giving some evidence that they had that plan in mind. The little guy was very bright,

so he backed away from the three bullies, drew a line in the dirt, backed up a few more steps,

looked into the eyes of the biggest of the three, and said, "Now, you just step across that line."

Confidently, the big bully did exactly that, and the little guy just grinned and said, "Now, we're

both on the same side:"

YOU ARE ON THE SAME SIDE_

Surely any marriage that's going to avoid divorce must have husbands and wives who clearly

understand that they really are on the same side. For the marriage to survive, husband and wife

must be friends, and the dictionary says that a friend is a close acquaintance, a supporter, and "one

attached to another by esteem, respect and affection, an inti mate, a person on the same side in a

struggle." Most husbands and wives, even in the most beautiful of marriages, will still tell you that

marriage is a struggle.

ROMANTIC-BUT WRONG_

My friend, Dr. Richard Furman, whom I will mention quite often in this book, tells the story

of the high-school quarterback who had fallen in love with one of the cheerleaders and the

romance was quite serious. He graduated a year ahead of her and went off to college. They kept in

close contact via phone calls and through the mail. As Christmas neared, he wrote her a letter

telling her he was coming home. Would she meet him at nine o'clock on Friday night on the fiftyyard

line in the football stadium?

The symbolism was obvious: They were going to be meeting each other halfway, and while

the romanticists might approve of the creativity of the young man, those who've been involved in

marriage counseling and a happy relationship with a mate instantly recognize the fact that marriage

is not a 50/50 proposition. It is purely and simply a 100/100 proposition. The husband goes 100

percent of the way to please his wife, love her totally, commit himself completely and stand

faithfully by her side. The wife makes identical commitments. That really is the only way the

marriage can he completely successful.

If  you are divorced and are thinking, "I am a failure;" let me state emphatically: Failure is an

event, not a person. All of us feel the impact of divorce. I have personally observed the horrors of

divorce in friends and family, so I want to make one point very clear. This chapter is not for

people going through a divorce or those who have just been divorced. You already have

experienced what I am writing about. "Rehashing" old hurts would only be painful, and there is no

need to pour "salt in the wound." (In other words, move directly to chapter 4.)

The purpose of this chapter is not to "whip up" on people who are divorced and put them on

a guilt trip. The benefits from that approach would be minus zero. This chapter is written for

people whose marriage is in trouble and who think of divorce as the lesser of two evils. If you are

considering, have considered, or will ever consider divorce, read on ... but get ready because you

are about to face the facts with no "sugarcoating."